Genesis
(Genesis 1-3)
(Instrumental)

God's Business
(Mr Skull)
In the places where traces of life can be found,
...somewhere
Everyone needs a god or two hanging around
...here and there
With humor and horror, He offers to us
...nowhere
The confusing role of intelligent dust
...dust that cares
God's business is odd business
But big business we know
Everything about it is expensive
Either on your savings or your soul
Everything about it is pretentious
And superstitious and quite a show
Yes, God's people are odd people
They're down when they are gay...
With his favorite tools of illusion and gray
...not a lot
God creates confusion and gives it away
...a jackpot
So that we can embrace this chaos from above
...dryrot
And triumphantly label it hatred and love
...Thank You, God

Jesus Loves Me / Narration 1
(Mr. Skull)
Jesus loves me,
This I know,
For The Bible tells me so.
But, you know, The Bible doesn't tell me so. Nowhere does The Good Book say, "Jesus loves me." Now the idea here is not to trash Jesus, but maybe, just maybe, shine a little light into some deep dark corners and show that The Good Book is also The Bad Book.
So we'll begin with three stories: the first tells the tale of a young girl dancing from the sweet sunshine of youth into the ogling eyes and overly wet lips of lust - a place where death can come from a playful request and birthdays are celebrated with severed heads.
Then we'll hear the story of Jeremiah, also known as God's gravel eater. Locked in chains and pierced with arrows, he grovels from the bottom of a pit filled with rocks and water. And, not only that, his enemies are still plotting against him. This guy has got it bad.
Also you'll hear the story of a defeated general, who has been rolled up in a carpet by a confused young woman; he thinks he's safe and hidden from his pursuing enemies, but.. heh, heh, heh, he's in for a big surprise, a big, big surprise!!!

How to Get a Head
(Salome: Mark 6:17-29)
THERE WERE GUYS! watching my body
THERE WERE GUYS! watching my breasts
THERE WERE GUYS! watching my body
I was excited and losing my breath
WHY DID I? listen to Mama
WHY DID I? listen to her
WHY DID I? listen to Mama
A head was only a word
WHY DO I? look like a woman
WHY DO I? feel like a girl
WHY DO I? look like a woman
I think about how his hair curled
IT'S A HEAD! without a body
IT'S A HEAD! without a neck
IT'S A HEAD! without a body
I didn't know what to expect
The neckless head is always falling
Every time I close my eyes
And think about his empty eyeballs
Strangely staring at the sky
Unoccupied by life but calling
To the tears they cannot cry

Mister Misery
(Jeremiah: Jeremiah, Lamentations)
They call me Mister Misery
They laugh and dump decay on me
He let them throw me in a pit
Full of angry spite and spit
With wasted flesh and broken bones
God has left me all alone
He made me Mister Misery
I don't know why He's mad at me
He made me Mister Misery
I don't know why He's mad at me
He hates my hands, He hates my skin
He hates the smell upon my chin
But He still shines His light on me
With love disguised as agony
I beg for pain but not for death
His hatred fills my emptiness

Tent Peg in the Temple
(Jael: Judges 4-5)
He's dead and naked
I'm naked, too
He's dead and naked
But he's still wearing his shoes
Once there was an ugly woman
Who was told to tell the truth and
So she said we needed fighters
Who were mean but mainly lighter
Than the metal war machinery
That was used to make us scream and
So we gathered up an army
That was thin, but then a storm began
And it was really raining
Like some swollen lakes were draining
Into thunderclouds and breaking
As our enemies were waking
They were stuck like legless bugs there
In a mucky mire of mud where
They were stabbed and left to squirm
Like lost and lonely wiggle worms
He's dead and naked
I'm naked, too
He's dead and naked
But he's still wearing his shoes
Cautiously their leader ran
Until he saw me and my hand
Inviting him to come inside
My tent where he could safely hide
He was shivering and wet
And so I said that I would get
Some clothes but then his tender eyes
Reached out and made me recognize
This vile and evil enemy
As someone soft and even sweet
Confused, I said he needed rest
But then somehow we were undressed
I said I heard someone outside
And rolled him in a rug and cried
I drove a tent stake in his head
And continued crying
....as he bled

Narration 2
(Mr Skull)
"The Handwriting Is On The Wall," - it's an odd phrase that comes from our next story - about a king who is having a celebration when a disembodied finger appears and writes a mysterious message on the wall. It seems that no one can read this strange writing, but when the prophet Daniel is called in to translate, the king just laughs, HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ...then he dies later that night.
Next we'll hear about Dinah, a story that loudly underlines the Bible's abominable treatment of women. In our version, Dinah is an old bitter woman looking back at an an event that changed her life forever: when she was a young girl, Dinah was raped by the son of a neighboring chief. The boy tries to make amends by proposing marriage and Dinah's father, being a diplomat says, "Yes," but her brothers ...her brothers ...they want a little more, substantial payment. They say, "We want your foreskin."
Then we have the story of Cain. Throughout Western Civilization, no one has ever been more despised than Cain, but has anyone ever heard his side of the story? After all how would you feel if God rejected your gift of nuts and berries, while praising the dead baby animals offered by your brother. Nobody's saying that Cain was the good guy here, but he DOES have a story to tell.

God's Magic Finger
(King Belshazzar: Daniel 5)
It was finger instead of a singer
It was a finger instead of a song
It was a finger instead of a singer
It didn't stay too long
When I was having a party and wanted to hear a song
A disconnected finger appeared where it didn't belong
It floated above the floor and wrote something on the wall
No one could read the writing so someone was called
It was finger instead of a singer
It was a finger instead of a song
It was a finger instead of a singer
It didn't stay too long
He said my father was crazy with fingernails like claws
And that he ate grass with asses, then he paused
Then when he continued, he mumbled about his god
He said my days were numbered, so I started to nod
It's later now and I'm alone, still thinking about what I saw
Something woke me up, a strange noise out in the hall
I hear it again...
It was finger instead of a singer
It was a finger instead of a song
It was finger instead of a singer
It was a finger instead of a song...

Dinah and the Unclean Skin
(Dinah: Genesis 34)
He murdered me
He murdered me
He took his tongue and touched it
And murdered me
I'm an old and lonely woman
Hating every other human
Nothing but my bitter-
ness surrounds me
He murdered me
He made me lay
He murdered me
Down and display
He murdered me
My milky way
He murdered me
And kissed it
I'm an old and lonely woman
Hating every other human
Nothing but my bitter-
ness surrounds me
He came asking for my hand
And was given this demand
"You and all the other men
must remove the unclean skin
From his penis", so they did
Then went to their beds and bled
Where my brothers cut their throats
Many empty nights ago
I am still that little girl
In the dark and dirty world
That was built so solidly around me

Cain & Able
(Cain: Genesis 4)
Blood drowns the ground
Blood drowns the ground
Yes, blood drowns the ground, 'cause
You didn't need me
The wind blew his hair as I looked up to see
The shadows of birds as they flew over me
Standing in silence, I watched how the blood
Turned into a puddle of crimson and mud
Like the dirt by the river my brother was cold
But the sunset was scarlet and purple and gold
I needed you
I needed you
Yes, I needed you, but
You didn't need me
Now I must wander away
Now I must wander away
Now I must wander far away
But when he looked up at me
And cried
I wasn't thinking, not thinking that soon
I will be alone

Narration 3
(Mr. Skull)
Another example of The Bible's policy of babe bashing is found in the story of Jephthah's daughter, a young woman of such significance! ...that no one remembers her name. But then she was only burned to death by her father. But you know, if you had just returned home victorious from war, you'd probably bar-be-que a few of your children, too.
And to continue with this theme of cremation, we'll close the first half of the show with the story of Lot, a confused old man who offers his daughters to an angry mob, then, urged by a pair of strangers, Lot and his family leave, just before his entire town is filled with baked, broiled and roasted flesh! After that his wife is turned to salt, leaving Lot and his daughters to wander off to a cave, where the poor old man is then ruthlessly raped by his two adolescent daughters! ...I know, I know, it's a strange story, but, oddly enough the same thing happened to a friend of mine just a couple of weeks ago.

Burn Baby Burn
(Jephthah's daughter: Judges 11:31-40)
I'm gonna die with a with no tears in my eyes 'cause
God Digs My Daddy!
I'm gonna die with a with no tears in my eyes 'cause
God Digs My Daddy!
His enemies died when he lifted his knife and said
Please let me win and I'll send you a life so
Soon I will be burning for my, soon I will be burning for my
...Daddy
I'm ready to die but it seems to be odd that
Bleeding is better than breathing to God but
Soon I will be burning for my, soon I will be burning for my ...Daddy
God Digs My Daddy!
Soon I will be burning for my, soon I will be burning for my
...Daddy
Soon I will be burning for my, soon I will be burning for my
...Daddy

Fire Fall
(Lot: Genesis 19)
I'm just an old man, how could I understand
I'm just an old man, how could I understand
I remember danger when the strangers came - they knew my name
They seemed to know my neighbors so I gave them safety in my home
Then there was a pounding sound, and screaming voices all around
I offered them my daughters then a light came from the strangers' skin
They said we had to go away, my wife was worried they... they...
I'm just an old man, how could I understand
Fire fell from the sky! Tears fell from my eyes!
Fire fell from the sky! Tears fell from my eyes!
She turned to stone like a bone,
or maybe salt had hardened on her
I was lonely for my wife
It only happened once or twice
I'm just an old man, how could I understand
I'm just an old man who can't stand his memories

INTERMISSION (IN BETWEEN SCREAMS)

King of Kings
(Instrumental)

Prayer / American Band
(Mr Skull)
Pray for those who sadly walk away
From the center of their souls and say
"God is nothing but a lie to me,"
While their hearts reach out so secretly
Everybody needs to pray
Bow your heads and pray
Everybody needs to pray
Say a prayer today
Pray they see before they turn to dust
God is just a substitute for trust
It's so difficult for us to love
We pretend to need a little shove
Everybody needs to pray
Bow your heads and pray
Everybody needs to pray
Say a prayer today
We're comin' to your town
We're gonna worship it down
We're comin' to your town to prey
We're an American band!
We're an American band!
We're comin' to your town!
We're gonna worship it down!
We're an American band!
We're comin' to your town!
We're gonna worship it down!
We're an American band!
An un-American band!
An un-American band!

Abraham
Narration 4
(Mr. Skull)
Now, as we start the second half of the show, we're going to stretch out a little with a few longer songs, featuring some of The Bible's more notable murderers, liars and penis manipulators. I am, of course, speaking about Abraham, Moses, David, and of course we can't forget good old [he holds out his arms to form a cross]...
We'll start with Abraham, a man who slaughtered helpless animals, denied his marriage, nearly killed his son, and cut away large pieces of his and all his male descendants genitals. And why, why, you might ask? Because God told him to, of course.
Then we have the Bridegroom Of Blood, the title of which is a direct quote from the Bible. In this story, Moses has seen the burning bush, and he and his wife Zipporah have begun the long journey back to Egypt. Then, suddenly, in the middle of the night, the old woman is awakened by the sound of a struggle. Looking over, she quickly discovers that her husband has been attacked by God. Confused and horrified, the old woman can think of no other defense than to reach down, pick up a sharp rock, and cut off a portion of their infant son's penis. She then picks up this penis piece and rubs it all over The Lord's back. Somehow satisfied, God then disappeared, and so will I.

On the High Way, Sick One
(Abraham & Sarah: Genesis 22)
[Sarah:]
Aching with hunger we walked along
The road to a place that we knew
A place where our people did not belong
A place where our friends would be few
As we were asking for food
He heard someone say he could die
Fear found an opening in his eyes
And I heard him lie
Removing my ring
He lied to the king
So that I could lie
Below his fat thighs
Yes, I heard him lie
Tasting of waste
Decay and disgrace
He lied to my face
As we embraced

[Abraham:]
Something strange surrounds me
Shifting in the sky
God is all around me
Entering my eyes
I know he needs a new kill
It's building all the time
Soft and silent until
It screams out of my mind

[Sarah:]
Something strange surrounds him
He's staring at the sky
His lies are all around me
I see it in his eyes

[Sarah:]
He needs to make a new kill
It's building all the time
Soft and silent until
It screams out of his mind

God is all around me
God is in the air
God is in me
God is everywhere
[Repeat]

Kill Him!
(Abraham: Genesis 22)
First He said to get a goat and
Cut in down the center then
He said to find a turtle dove,
A ram and maybe two more hens
After they were cut in half
He made me put them on the ground
A torch appeared without a sound
And then He told me, "Kill him! Kill him!"
Then He sent some angels to me
Saying I would have a son
I thought this was a strange arrangement
Again He told me, "Kill him! Kill him!"
God said kill him!
God said kill him!
Blood is thick but
God is thicker
I am sick but
He is sicker
God says, "Die!"
So I must kill him, but
Why does God want
To kill children?
Then he made me cut my penis
And the manhood of my sons
When I said I can't believe it
Again He told me, "Kill him! Kill him!"

Bridegroom of Blood
(Moses & Zipporah: Exodus 4:24-26)
[Zipporah:]
I love him,
I love him,
I love him,
I love him...

[Moses:]
I'm t-tired and d-d-dirty and old
L-Like m-mildew covered with m-m-mold
S-Something is shining at m-me
L-L-like a l-ight nobody c-c-can ss-ee
M-My heart is t-t-turning t-to stone
Inside a s-sack f-full of b-bones
S-Something is sh-sh-shining at m-me...
N-no! Not m-m-me!
No! N-n-not m-m-me!
A t-tree s-surrounded b-by f-flame
C-Called to m-me by m-my name
And m-m-made m-me promise to l-lead
The n-needy out of their n-need

[Zipporah & Moses:]
Our little baby
He's c-c-crying
Our little baby
H-He's c-crying
Our little baby
He's c-c-crying

[Zipporah:]
A lonely lingering bark
Awakened me in the dark
And as I silently stared
A figure formed in the air
With teeth intending to eat
My husband who was asleep

[Spoken:]
I knew it would hurt him until
My elderly was killed
The fighting had barely begun
When I knew what had to be done
I took the small bloody skin
And wiped it all over him
His God immediately stopped
And disappeared like a dry tear drop

[Sung:]
He was tiny and weak
With eyes so tender and sweet
And as he laid in my arms
So safe from hunger and harm
I took the edge of a rock
And sliced the skin from his cock
Yes, I sliced the skin from his cock

David
Narration 5
(Mr. Skull)
Now we move on to the mighty King David. As the leader of his people, David created a set of "family values" based on murder, deceit, and sexual conquest. In the first song, we'll see David exposing himself as he leads a triumphant procession into Jerusalem. This song will be sung by David's barren wife, Michal, who has committed the unforgivable sin of bearing David no sons. Unhappy with this situation, the king feels that he must advertise his "merchandise" when he returns to town. Next we'll hear of David's obsession with the naked bather, Bathsheba, who definitely does appreciate his "merchandise;" and then we continue with the story of David's daughter, Tamar, a beautiful young woman brutally raped by her own brother. And finally we'll conclude this suite of four songs with one of David's sons hanging by his hair from the limb of an oak tree.
So... while all of the Biblical scholars out there have undoubtedly realized that most of our stories have come from what the Christians refer to as the Old Testament, you've probably guessed that we've left the Jesus, Mary, and all that the dying for your sins business for the end. But, as you might expect, The Residents' version is a little different ...for our finale, we will bring you the story of the unsung genius who made Christianity what it is today. Just as Dorothy needed the wicked witch to get over the rainbow, where would Jesus be without his Judas!

Part 1 - David Flashes God - aka When David Displays his Dick or Sausage City
(Michal: 2 Samuel 6:12-23)
With his head held high
And his muscles thick
A king comes dangling by
When David displays his dick
When David displays his dick
When David displays his dick
The sickness in his soul
Sucks me like a tick
His hardness hates my hole
When David displays his dick
When David displays his dick
Sausage city [repeats]
When David displays his dick
He loves me like an eye
Loves a sharpened stick
It makes my dead womb cry
When David displays his dick
Sausage city [repeats]

Part 2 - Bathsheba Bathes
(David & Michal: 2 Samuel 6:11)
[David:]
Out in the openness of night
She bathes before my sucking sight
Fingers of fire so soft and slow
Make her amber body glow

[Michal:]
He takes what he wants
With smiling lies
He takes what he wants
And someone dies

[David:]
Like caution to the newly blind
Her image never leaves my mind
I have to hear her as she cries
Underneath my burning eyes
Her husband is fighting far away
In my army so they'll say
I took his honor with his wife
So he must lose it with his life

[Michal:]
A king is noble, strong and right
With appetites to match his might
With gore and glory in his bed
His penis rules a rancid head

Part 3 - Attitude is Everything - aka Tamara's Tumor
(David & Tamar: 2 Samuel 13:1-19)
[David:]
Attitude is everything
To the future king
Attitude is never rude
It's everything
Attitude is everything
To the future king
Attitude is never rude
It's everything

[Tamar:]
When he said that he was sick
How could I know my brother's dick
Was measuring my magic hole
Like a mean malignant mole
Like his father, he sees sex
As randy candy to collect
I think a maggot poached in pee
Could feel responsibility
Better than a king who learns
To lead his land with blood and sperm

[David:]
Attitude is everything
To the coming king
Attitude is everything
When you're the king

[Tamar:]
Attitude is everything
There's no need to think
Attitude is everything
When you're the king

Part 4 - Hanging by his Hair
(Absalom: 2 Samuel 13:1-19, 2 Samuel 16:20-22, 2 Samuel 5:9-15)
Helpless and hanging around
Inches away from the ground
Where I'm gonna be found
By my father
It's kinda cloudy and gray
Soon they'll be coming my way
Maybe it's better this way
For my father
In front of his family and friends
I killed my brother and then
I tried to do it again
To my father
Soon I'm gonna be dead
But I slept in his bed
With his women and said
Fuck you father
I never thought that I would be
Discovered in a hardwood tree
Hanging by my hair above
A pair of mating turtle doves

Judas Saves
(Mr Skull as Judas: Mark 14:17-46)
I hear a voice
I hear a voice
calling calling calling me
With a voice inside my head
He spoke to me and softly said
Perfection ends when life begins
But it can come back again
I hear a voice
I hear a voice
calling calling calling me
Then He said if I could hide
My faith inside my broken pride
He would find complete success
Where innocence embraces death
Now it is so clear
He must appear
To be betrayed
So we can be saved
No one can see
Clearly but me

I know, I must, answer the call
I know, I must, answer the call
I know, I must, answer the call
I know, I must, answer the call

Epilogue
(Singers)
Give that old time religion
That old time religion
That old time religion
It's good enough for me
[repeats]
So now, before we send you folks home, we want to make sure you understand our little stories are definitely not meant to be seen as Bible Bashing. While The Residents almost completely disagree with those who have held the Bible hostage in recent times, they still feel that the love, hate, power, passion and true depth of the human spirit is reflected in these pages and that's the reason we're still talking about this ancient amount of myths and mumbo jumbo today.
It was good for making millions
Selling platitudes to pilgrims
Who were bar-be-cuing children
So it's good enough for me
It was good for making blisters
On the penises of misters
Who were molesting their sisters
So it's good enough for me.
It was good for Sunday School
Where shame and guilt were taught by fools
Who were only being human
So it's good enough for me
So even if it's just a token
It was good for giving hope
To human spirits that were broken
So it's good enough for me